I Want Out

Bienvenue! I have been caught up with house guests and running usual paperwork errands.  As I have been getting a little better acquainted with other language assistants in the city, I have noticed a little trend in conversation topics.  It usually tends to be about vacation plans or post-France plans.  There seems to be a lot of similarities between our time here in France and prison.  I don’t mean the maximum security prisons or private prisons, just your old, run of the mill prison minus all the “drop the soap” hanky panky.

Let’s break it down:

– In both prison and France, we are entitled to the basic necessities such as food, water, and toilet facilities.  However, internet, television, radio, movies, “extra” special food like Nutella are considered luxuries or privileges.  I don’t even have a good kitchen knife.  I almost lost my cool when trying to cook yellow squash last week.

– Limited access to outdoor/indoor exercise facilities as well as the library.  I am only allowed to take a certain number of cds and books, each time I hope that the librarian doesn’t make me pick and choose, but alas I usually stand at the counter weighing my options.

– Assistants and prisoners always talk about “when I go back home, I plan on bla bla bla”.

– We are allowed outside visitors, such as friends and family, however the time is very limited.  Let’s not forget the limited phone time.

– The most important similarity that is essential for survival is to make friends on the inside.

I’ve also noticed that sometimes French people talk to me like I am mentally retarded or deaf.  They speak very slowly, which is good for comprehension, but then they speak very, very loudly.  My roommate, Cécile, has been doing this so much that when she hangs out with her French friends they look at her like there is something the matter.  This prompted me to come up with a joke:  “How do you know when a French person has just spoken with an American? They are talking very slowly and loudly.”  Wah waaaaah!

Things in France are swell!  Sophie and I have hatched out a plan to invite language assistants who hail from other exotic countries over so we can get a delicious meal! The only people not allowed over are English.  I won’t go into details, but she looked like she would hurl chunks if she had to eat an English meal.  Unfortunately, Sophie is back home so she missed out on a Spanish and Mexican meal and tonight she will miss out on a Chinese cuisine.  Tant pis! However, all of those people have agreed to cook again when she returns.

I also embraced some French stereotypes, such as the one displayed in the picture below.

Photo 132

It didn’t last long! I did take some plan of action and decided to get rid of my lucious patches of hair.  I had to after I almost gave a friend a heartattack during a Skype date.  Also, I kept scaring myself when I would look in the mirror, change clothes or shower.  I would look down, jump, and say “what the…oh hey you.”  It was time.  I have a feeling I’ll be seeing those guys again soon, but not too soon.

One Response to “I Want Out”
  1. otherpeoplesprojects says:

    i mean youre really fucking awesome. hairy pit and all.

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